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I waited until after noon on Saturday to text Sara; Friday was her third date with the OkCupid? cutie she was sweet on, and so the first night she figured they’d be sleeping together.

“??!!??” I texted.

She called immediately.

“Well?”

“Well, he’s got a great bod.”

“And?”

“And he’s, uh, endowed.”

“Nice. And?”

“He likes to go down.”

“Hallelujah and amen! And?”

“And, he’s long lasting, like really long.”

“Well, that sounds like a perfect storm!”

“Yeah, it’s just that …”

“What?”

“I’m not into marathon sex anymore. Not at midlife. Because, you know.”

(Yeah, I do know. Midlife. Women. Lubrication. Things happen. Or not.)

“So, did you say something to him?”

“You can’t talk to guys about sex. It freaks them out.”

And isn’t that the sad truth?


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