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I don’t really mind the kind of opening salvo you gave your guy there. It’s a signal to me that I need to go into dealing-with-it mode, and lets me prepare for that. If you came to me and said flat out, “You did x, and it pissed me off,” I’d feel caught flat-footed and might hem and haw or, worse, get defensive. So letting me know first that there’s a problem to discuss is helpful. But then, yes, please get to the point. I can take it.
Steve says:
July 26, 2010 at 8:23 am I like *some* build up, so I don’t feel like I am being attacked. If the build up is too long I begin to feel defensive as if I did something horrible or I get impatient. Steve´s last [type] ..Red Bull
KC says:
July 26, 2010 at 10:13 am Good morning Kat, Hope you’re weekend went well. Discussing issues is always a tough one for fledgeling relationships. Just as much as it is for relationships that have been going on for tens of years… FOR ME, I’ve found that it works best for me if my partner comes to me or calls me and tells me that there is something on their mind that they would like to talk to me about and then asks if we could set aside some time to have a talk. At the same time, they can reassure me that it isn’t a relationship ending talk, just something that has been on their mind and that they would like to talk about in a calm, no threatening way so that the air can be cleared about something or a disagreement can be cleared up. I work best when I’m not confronted, yelled at or made to feel less than. I’m not into yelling. It immediately makes me shut down or causes me to start thinking about how I’m going to respond and then my listening skills go out the window. Confrontation is never a good way to talk about issues. At least for me. Have a great week Kat! KC´s last [type] ..How come I dont have anything to complain about